Still awake until the crack of dawn, tossing and turning, recalling the days and experiences I had this past few months… realizing that I am not the same.
Who am I? What happened to me? Where’s the innocent, silent, unadulterated, innocuous me? All I can see is a person who’s vindictive, resentful, implacable and bitter. Who is to be blame? Is it me or the people who came and have a hold over me?
It’s a monotonous aphorism that we should learn from our experiences, we should be able to know what to do if faced with the same predicament. I know it’s stupid to make the same mistake again… and again… and again. Yes, I experienced them, but then I kept on repeating the same blunder over again, stupid!
I told my self that I have learned from it - but now I am faced with the question whether my conduct justified such learning? All throughout my restlessness, the notion of pessimism answered such query. Where is that conviction on my diffidence, modesty, humility and reticence that I used to strongly hold on to? Sad to say, it’s almost gone, but then not too late to recuperate.
Is it really me to be blame? Or those people who manipulated or influenced me, the people who took advantage of my compassion and empathy? The impair that resulted caused me to raise my defenses. Avert my self from probable repetition of such affair.
Now, is it me… or them to be blame?
When your relationship encounters obstacles, you must work it out with your lover. However, while you think you’re working it out with your partner, you may just be working it off ALONE.
People need to have control in their lives. Unfortunately, they usually relate this need for control in their life to their relationship. Instead of managing the situations, they end up manipulating it. That is wrong.
Although, unexpectedly, lovers focus all their efforts in preserving their relationship, there is always a bog tendency to overrun the affair. Sometimes, with your need to protect your most cherished relationship, you resort to control. And as much as you try to justify the notion that control will protect, that is not always true. Manipulation can only bring out the worst in your partner. Either he/she rebels from your “light-hand” grip on things, or he/she becomes overly-dependent on you and lose self-respect. Either way, you lose your lover.
You say it’s all because you care for him/her so much. But with this need to protect and enhance your life and your relationship with your partner, you resort to control. Thinking that with control, you can prevent problems. But didn’t you ever stop to think that you may be stuffing him/her and his/her personal growth?
You must realize that what you have is a relationship. It means sharing. Control should never have anything to do with it. If your way of showing concern for your relationship is by controlling your partner and the flow of your “partnership” then expect the disastrous effects of your relationship.
If you really want a lasting relationship, you will have to learn to distinguish between manipulating and managing which is how to best handle your affair.
Obviously, it takes two people to make a relationship. When you value your relationship and the person you’re sharing it with, you must try to manage it at best. And because you wouldn’t want to lose this wonderful affair, you give it all that you’ve got. Although it is quite difficult to ascertain where you draw the line between management and manipulation, it is better to equate your problem-solving schemes with COMPOMISE.
Learn to discuss every issue that you encounter. Managing means working out the solution that you are BOTH comfortable with. Also, remember that compromise is important not only during times of problem. In all areas of your relationship, there should always be an acceptance of the other person’s right for opinion and ultimately, is the decision.
View problems as opportunities for growth and not as obstacles. The main reason why lovers manipulate their relationship is the fear that their relationship might fail the “test”. So, instead of consulting the partner about the situation, they try to take it in their own hands. They make decisions in haste, mindless of their partner’s opinion.
If you feel that you have been manipulating your relationship and feel its effects, talk to your partner. You will be surprised at how much this person appreciates you simple regard for his/her worth. And reassure you partner of your cooperation in all respects of your relationship.
It just takes humility to see through the judge of the misunderstandings. Oftentimes, it is this simple thin that we don’t have. But if you’re starting to manipulate your RELATIONSHIP and your partner, it is more likely that you will lose it.
why is it so hard to accept that our plans didn’t end up as we expected it to be.
why is it that failure is difficult to endure…
iam to be blamed.. i didnt do my best..!
im so sorry…
There are times in our lives when we are swept over by raging emotions; times when we are overwhelmed by sadness, overcome by misery. Times when we feel that we are loved only for the worth others can get from us, and for not who we really are. It is natural to feel this way; sometimes we all need to be alone, to feel blue, to feel lonely, to listen to a song and cry – then we asked ourselves… why is this song have to end? Why do we have to cry when love is taken away from us? Why does it have to hurt when we let go of someone we love?
In a relationship we treasure, the hardest thing to do is saying goodbye and setting someone free. For in every last embrace, a part of us dies. Every teardrop that falls washes away our hopes; then we are left with nothing but pain and bitter memories, because we have lost love but never knew how and we’ll probably not know why. We tried to get away, but every move we make somehow has its way of reminding us of the past all over again. Every turn of our head, and every blink of an eye reminds us of love, lost in eternity. And it makes us wonder, how one person can make us feel so empty, so alone, so desolate.
Every song no matter how beautiful it is will have to end on its last note – like every “day” has its “night”, all that has started will have to end in its own time. It is an inevitability that we cannot restrain, something that we cannot control, and just the fact that we have to accept, and live up with. Let us remember that our life doesn’t have to end where our heartaches begin. Somewhere, someone will come along and sing us his/her song of love. Someday, someone will fill our lives with joy and happiness. Somehow, we will find love again, and it will wipe away our tears and bring us the promise of a new life, a new hope and a beautiful beginning…
They say that only time can heal the wounds of a broken heart. That “time” makes it easier to accept the loss of the people we love. It is a chain that all of us go through - falling in love, getting hurt, getting hurt and vowing not to love again, promising not to love again, and becoming miserable all our lives. It isn’t easy getting on our feet after a crippling fall. But there is just no other way, but to stand up and move on, no body wants to become unhappy all his/her life.
All of us know how love can bring magic into our lives. Have you ever realized how good it felt waking up in the morning knowing that somewhere out there, there is a person also thinking of you? And feels exactly the way you do? Doesn’t it feel good, looking forward to being with that person and spending memorable moments with him/her? Love brings joy beyond compare and that warm and sparkling glow in each of us; love brings us to the top of the world where we can conquer just about any obstacle that may come along our way.
It is a great feeling love is. There is probably nothing else in this world that can compare to this. There may be many of us who feel that love has passed us by and finding someone we can share our lives with seems to be such a remote possibility. We watched rains go by as time swiftly drifts away from us. We may be in control of our lives but we feel somewhat helpless in our relationships. There is nothing permanent in this world, and not even those we cherished would be with us forever. There is no guarantee that comes with loving, it is always a risk getting involved with someone, but it is a risk that we have to take if we want to find real happiness, for there is no gain without pain; there is no permanence without commitment; and there is no lasting love without constant sacrifice.
The tragedy of love isn’t getting hurt; the tragedy of getting hurt is in not wanting to love again; and the tragedy of not wanting to love again isn’t being alone… all of our life. If it is what we wanted to be, then we can could just stay in our shell and be miserably forgotten; but If it is love we choose, then there is the promise of a new life, the joy in being able to share that life with someone and the hope of finding something beautiful and keeping it forever.
Wise men say, only fools rush in … (quoted from Can’t Help Falling in Love by Elvis Presley)
Does that catch phrase ring in your ears, telling you that we should not be rushing into certain things not knowing what impact or consequences that it might give or lead to you?
One step taken, and if it’s a wrong step, you will be suffering from the corollaries and from then on every step that may be treaded on will be wrong as well. Humans make mistakes, but how often do they learn from their past?
Everyone is and can be clear headed. It’s up to oneself whether one would want to execute their conscience when it comes to their actions and words in life or to just say and do something without thinking. When you know that what you are doing is wrong, but why do you still go on ahead, not realizing the mistake and tread on deeper into the black hole?
The deeper you walk into the hole, the more pain in the future some things may cause you. But then again, humans are weird creatures. They have a button called “Thrill” in their minds and it is often being pushed to a point whereby some people just love the excitement and how dangerous some things can be. The danger itself is the thrill itself. It’s addictive. Just like sex; only thing is there is no penetration.
Taking your forever lover for granted drives a wedge between the two of you. Then comes the drifting apart you once feared. You become lonely, anxious and withdrawn. What you take for granted, disappears! You and your lover may still be together physically, however, most likely neither one of you are really there for each other. To avoid the consequences of neglect, you will find that the only solution is the open talk you can allow yourself to have about it. Embrace your concerns. Sharing your true self with your love partner adds a new dimension to your relationship. Allowing your love partner to know your inner-world; to know how you really feel, is sharing at a higher level; perhaps even a spiritual level. You will discover a higher source of strength. Not being afraid of how your love partner will react is a true test of courage. Being willing to share yourself in this manner tells your lover the level of trust you are willing to express. When you lovingly communicate, the depth of connection that comes from this kind of intimate conversation, brings on a deeper experience of love, most desired yet difficult when you are inclined to withhold because of fear. You make the choice. Intimacy or separation. It is only and always in your hands. Talk or be silent and wait for the inevitable; the ultimate separation.
There were two hearts who met in a dance… that moment was magical – there was a sweet song playing, there was harmony and soon love in the air. They fell in love and they started building castles in their dreams and promised forever with all certainty. But somewhere in the midst of the fun, they got lost in the dance… something went wrong, but they can never do anything. They are just drifting away, their fortress falling apart. There were so many questions, but no one had an answer. Then the music stopped, and then there was silence.
When we truly love someone we give our best and we let that person see the pureness of our intentions. But sometimes that person makes us cry and hurts us for the wrong reason. That person must have loved us, but he/she does not love us to make us understand what he/she truly felt. Now we faced a seemingly impossible task… forgetting. We have burdened ourselves long enough, but we still can’t get out of this emotional trap. Let us remember that the more we try to forget someone we love, the more painful letting go we become. Sometimes we never have to take that person out in our heart at all, for he/she will always be there, no matter how hard we drive him/her away. It isn’t his/her presence that makes this difficult, it is our stubbornness to accept our destiny that aligns forgetting next to impossible. We keep a cold face but deep inside in our heart, there is still that lingering hope for reconciliation. Somehow we still believe that we can rekindle small embers and relight the fire that once burn in our hearts. These thoughts give us hopes, but it also breeds the seeds of loneliness in despair. The only way to forget is to accept and the only way to move on is to look ahead and let the footprints of the past be blown by the wind of time… only then can our hearts can find a partner in the dance of life and hopefully never get lost.
Sometimes we close our eyes and listen to the echoes of our heart. We all fall in love, and there are times that we love so much that we lose our self in our own emotions. More often than not we wonder why there are love that grows and love that grows cold. We would start to search for some answers, and try to find where love has gone wrong. But in the end, we find ourselves where we started. We cannot question love when it has its own reasons. Love will always be as it always has been… silent, mysterious, and deeply profound.
Many of us believe that love is forever, that love never dies, only to be dissolution in the end when we find our hands empty and our hearts longing. We have mistakenly have looked at love as a need to be fulfilled, but love is only a gift given to us… we should not hold it in our hands for we may never find the strength to let it go when it decides to leave. We should only embrace its warmth and glow while it lasts, and then freely open our arms when it’s time to say goodbye.
When we fall in love with someone, we don’t want that feeling to end, for it is everything we are and everything that we wanted to be. We pray that love will stay and grow in our hearts; but if it doesn’t then we should never let our life taken by it, for life should not end when heart ache begin. There is always a reason why we have to move on, when we say goodbye to the feelings we wanted to stay forever let us not wave our hands with a heavy heart, for love will have to set its wings free and find a place where it belongs. We may have lost it, but then again when we close our eyes and listens to the echoes of our hearts we will hear that feeling resounding silently forever – then we will know that it has never left us, for the good that we have become because of love. It will always stay, it will always be there reminding us that we should be thankful and happy not because we have lost love but because for once in our lives that feeling lived in our hearts and made us happy.
